“I was a 90’s kid and I was always my mother’s FIRST priority”

Crazy it may sound for me to state this at this age, nevertheless I was forced to exclaim this after a recent incident –this thought striked my mind like a lightning and filled heart with joy and thankfulness for my mother..!!

It’s been a month of occasions and I have been attending marriages, receptions and engagements one after another!! And one incident of these inspired me to write this post.

There was a time when marriages used to serve as a get together for visitors, who congratulate the parents on their tireless effort to arrange the marriage successfully with the parents actually having no time to listen to the words doing all arrangements from decoration to dinner--all they ask everyone is “saaptacha? Illena saaptutu pongo” !!

                           

Gone are these days. Given the ‘All in All’ catering services, marriages are restricted to two things for everyone – “Selfi and Gulfi” – Taking Pictures and Eating the meals. Parents also get plenty time to welcome guests, take pictures and talk to people  - the only thing still in practice being “saaptacha? Illena saaptutu pongo” !!

                                            

Oh ya.. I missed it.. It was an arranged marriage with the groom and bride belonging to same caste. So, the parents actively and happily participated in the ceremony with pride and did not carry blank smiles on their face !!

Done. Lets come to the point. Having wished the couple, the ‘Selfi’ part was over (In reality, I did not take selfi as I am bad at it).. I moved to the second significant activity ‘Gulfi’ - to taste the delicacies.

A kid was seated there, with one seat empty next to him. As I was wondering if him mom standing behind was gonna sit there, she, understanding my confused face, said “You can sit there.. I am moving down.. and will be back to take care of him in a moment”. And I sat there, starting to gobble up the sweets served  - One jaangri , one paalgova kind of sweet wrapped in plastic paper and then Sambar rice with parupusili, aviyal, appalam and the usual other stuffs. Just like many others, I am keen to watch kids as it’s a good time pass(he he :D) and I started watching this kid who was seated next to me.

He was ready to eat but could barely reach half of the banana leaf which was towards his side due to him being short. The server asked him if he wants sambar and he also said “Yes” and this person came to serve. “Thank God” I exclaimed in mind realizing the sambar was quite hot and this server also did not care that the kid would not bear and attempted to pour the sambar. I stopped this server and told the kid not to touch the rice. Being a good kid (and thanks to my befriending him much before in the marriage occasion.. for time pass again) he also listened to me and I mixed up the rice and sambar for him and waited till it was quite bearable for him to start eating.

   

Then he slowly started eating. Again, he had another challenge, which I noticed – He was barely able to reach to the side dishes placed on the other side of the leaf, which is customary –to serve food downward and side dishes upward in the plate(leaf) !!  Then I again moved the side dishes on his leaf to the bottom part of the leaf itself and he started enjoying the dishes and I also started eating mine. As I finished sambar, rasam and moved down to curd rice, he was keenly immersed in eating the sweets.

“Mama jaangiri”(“Uncle, I need jaangri) -he asked for and the servers either did not hear or did not respond to his feeble voice. I then shouted “Innoru jaangiri venum” with my horrible voice (It was bad that day due to throat pain, it was still well audible). The server carried it to my leaf and I pointed to his leaf. The server staring at me (Goyyala :P) placed on his leaf and went off. Should see the brightness on his face as he ate the second jaangri !!

I finished my curd rice and most others in the row also had finished. He did not eat anything except sambar rice which itself was filling for him. I waited for him to finish. For one, his mom was nowhere around and I did not want to leave him alone and for another thing I knew very well the wash basin was quite high and he would not be able to reach even the basement of it. 

 

I asked him “Innum edaavadu venuma mma” (Do you need anything more dear?”) and he said “One more Jaangri” (he din’t say Uncle as I had already told him not to :P :P ) and curse my stupid mouth -- “Innum onna..already rendu saaptiye?” !!(One more?? But you already had two!!) Oh.. this kid at a moment felt really offended at my question and as I offered to get another jaangri for him , he said “Illa venam”…(“No need..leave it”) and as I tried to console him saying its ok to eat, dear oh dear , he started touching his stomach and telling me “paarunga..thoppa evlo perusa iruku..enaku vayiru full.. inime saapda mudiyaadu”.. (“See..how big belly is..my stomach is already full”).. I really felt guilty and feel same to this day L

Then we moved on to wash the hands.. The wash basin was much above his head as I had thought. Thanks that he was quite lean, I was able to comfortably lift him to reach the tap. Then, we moved downstairs with him proudly telling me “Now a days, we talk only in English in my home you know”… and I thought “Nalla parents pa” (Very good parents :P :P)

As I moved along, I realized that this was not the only kid that was alone in the dining hall !! God bless them !!

Down there, I did not know who his mother was.. So, I challenged him if he could find his mother in that crowd. The kid proudly took me to the lady whom I had seen earlier in the eating area. She thanked me for bringing him down and said “she got really busy and could not turn up above again as she had planned to” !! As I left him and came back to my seat, thoughts rushed to my mind on how I used to be treated by my mother when we visited occasions. 

                                     

Never had my mother left me alone without anyone known, not even for her to attend nature’s calls. Only when close relatives were around, she used to go away, for short moments. We always sat together, or in very close areas where she used to keep a keen watch on me to provide any assistance in eating. All I had to do was to stare at something with keen look and it was there on my leaf!! In fact, as most other mothers of the days, she knew what I liked more than I did!! When something I don’t like comes up, she ensured it was not placed on my leaf, or took it away to her leaf, lest I might not like it on my leaf!! No less was the way I was treated, than the royal treatment for any Kings by his people !! As I thought of the state of this kid, a feel of thankfulness rushed to my mind and it stays afresh till date, a week after this incident actually happened !! Not just me—As I proceed to think, Most of my siblings and friends enjoyed similar privileges.

                               
Our parents were economically much weaker than those of today and we did not get to wear so costly dresses or speak so fluently in English – But yeah, we got much more than that – Unyielding attention and Utmost care.. !! My mother and most of our parents were no loners and they actively did every other work in marriage and other occasions-- from greeting visitors to cleaning rooms or drawing kolams- much more than what today’s parents do, and neither were we confined to their vicinity and we were allowed to play or roam anywhere within the marriage halls –Yet those days, they always had an eye on us, that took care, removed all difficulties –even small ones, despite all other works they did, we were the first priority  -they ensured our enjoyment and glee to the core making our life path a bed of roses !!                                  

Yes  !! Now I really feel it as I utter these words “I was a 90’s kid and I was always my mother’s FIRST priority”

PS:

There may be questions on why I wrote only on mother's..why not I blame fathers as well..

For one thing, this is based on the way I was treated by my mother.. 

For another, the fathers of today are still better than those of yester years in taking care of kids is my feel !!

Nevertheless, I agree fathers have equal Responsibility in taking care of kids

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